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"Smile! It increases your face value!"

I'm usually in a pretty good mood.* I'm usually quick to smile; quick to laugh. I like to say "hi" to people on the street. I like to hug good friends. I like to kiss my husband. I like to keep it light and try not take it all so seriously. It's a conscious decision, albeit not always an easy one. Most days, though, I'm pretty good at NOT giving into the bullshit.

Recently, in my Kickboxing class, (my new passion!!) I was paired with a 20-something girl for the partner drills. I greeted her with a smile. Nothing. I cracked a lame joke about how we should try to NOT punch each other in the face. *crickets* (Does she not realize I'm a delight?!) Then we started our exercises; me with a mid-level intensity and steady beat to the Flo Rida song booming over the sound system; her with an intense fervor like she was training for her next MMA fight. Now, I kept up. (Awwwww yeeeeahhhhh!) But I was (at first) more than a little annoyed. I wanted to say, "You know this is supposed to be fun, right?" Instead, I just watched. This 20-something girl took herself VERY, VERY seriously and I realized at that age I kinda did too. The 15+ years between us are like dog years when it comes to "getting over yourself." That being said, I wish her well. She did awesome. I had more fun though.  Next time, I'll just choose a different partner.



I also work with a few of these humourless people. Every issue is critical. Every coworker and irritation. And most attempts at camaraderie are unmatched, if not outright ignored. Oh well. You do you. And good luck with your future hypertension. (Ironically, I hear kickboxing is good for that!)

To be clear, I'm not saying that life should be sunshine and rainbows 24/7. It can't be. Terrible things happen and you have to go through it. I just find, in my advancing years, it's easier for me to get through it if I'm open to finding my smile...no matter how hard it may be hiding. I'm so done with being angry all the time and operating in a constant state of panic. It's exhausting. Not everyone has learned that lesson, I suppose. Maybe some never will. So to them, I guess I'm just another annoyance. That woman who they think just doesn't get it. But, a woman's heart is very deep. Just because I appear to be in a good place now doesn't mean I always was. There's some wisdom behind these big brown eyes. (And also, I don't know shit...another lesson you learn in your 40's) I'm learning to take things in stride. To pick my battles.

And to share my smile with anyone who needs it.

*good mood subject to monthly hormonal fluctuations and lack of sleep. See also: hangry.
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  1. georgeglass8/21/2018

    ���� nicely put! You are a great writer!!

    ReplyDelete

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