The Adventures of Mrs.Movie Snob

I feel a shift in the air. I think you feel it too. That feeling of impermanence is gone. As with many things, when quarantine first began, we were gung ho. Inconvenienced, and a bit annoyed, sure, but still pretty optimistic. The memes were pouring out. People were sharing their new home/work schedules, enrolling in free online classes (myself included) and hunkering down for what we were told would be only a few weeks. Totally doable. We're now finishing up Week 3 in lock down. And, let's be honest, shit's gotten a little too  real. Always the optimist, I still believe we'll get through this. In fact, I know we will. I still believe this time will eventually be a memory. I have to trust that by doing what I'm supposed to, I will be fine and so will those I love. But the truth of it is, by the time this is done, many won't be alright. There will be an aftermath. A new reality. I just don't know when and how that will happen. The  not knowing  is what...

"The past beats inside of me like a second heart." -John Banville, The Sea My memory is long. It is vivid. It is unforgiving. For better, it is remembering song lyrics, movie quotes, important dates and fun times. For worse, it is remembering every embarrassment, hurt and traumatic childhood moment. With both, something will trigger me (a song, smell, a feeling) and *poof*, I'm right back in it. Does this happen to you? Do you think of comebacks years later in the shower? Do you dwell on that time you fell in front of all of those people? Do you still get a rush when you think about that first kiss with your honey? It's something I've come to depend on. (Especially when competing in trivia) And I've never really understood how it feels to not have this ability. My Mother used to get very frustrated with me because I remembered everything she said; even when she didn't. She once said to me, "I hope you have a daughter one day with that memory!...

I'm usually in a pretty good mood. * I'm usually quick to smile; quick to laugh. I like to say "hi" to people on the street. I like to hug good friends. I like to kiss my husband. I like to keep it light and try not take it all so seriously. It's a conscious decision, albeit not always an easy one. Most days, though, I'm pretty good at NOT giving into the bullshit. Recently, in my Kickboxing class, (my new passion!!) I was paired with a 20-something girl for the partner drills. I greeted her with a smile. Nothing. I cracked a lame joke about how we should try to NOT punch each other in the face. *crickets* (Does she not realize I'm a delight?!) Then we started our exercises; me with a mid-level intensity and steady beat to the Flo Rida song booming over the sound system; her with an intense fervor like she was training for her next MMA fight. Now, I kept up. (Awwwww yeeeeahhhhh!) But I was (at first) more than a little annoyed. I wanted to say, "Y...