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Here's a tip: Be nice, Jerk!

When I was about 12 years old, I remember my Mom saying to me, "I think everyone should have to work in a restaurant at least once." Having never really gotten my hands dirty, pockets padded with babysitting money, I thought, "Nope" and just shrugged my shoulders. Four years later, I'd be saying "Yep" to my first job as a seating hostess at Red Lobster.

As first jobs go, it wasn't a bad one. "How many?...Right this way...Do you need a highchair?...smoking or non-smoking?" (The good old days) Easy. Honestly, I don't remember how long I held this job. Maybe a year or so. For the most part, the customers were civil, even nice but mostly forgettable. I only saw them for a few minutes, after all. It wouldn't be until years later, that I would cross the threshold from seating to serving. ("Welcome to Thunderdome, Bitch!") That's when the real fun began -- my crash course in human nature.

It's amazing what people can reveal to you about themselves in about an hour. What's that old saying? When someone shows you who they are, believe them? Truer words were never spoken. On one hand, you have the opportunity to meet the most gracious, most fun and easygoing people ever. And if you're a social butterfly (like me) you're no longer working...you're basically socializing and getting paid. But on the other hand, you get to meet those peoplePeople are not normal people, no no. People are the folks who come into restaurants and view it as a sort of feudal system. People make it very clear that they are above you and their manners are checked at the door. People yell at you if you serve them an overcooked steak or inform them that a menu item is not available. They huff and puff and seem to get off on making your life a living hell. People make you jaded. People suck.

Along with people, servers are generally juggling many other things behind the scenes. These include but are not limited to: management (sometimes good/sometimes very, very bad), hostesses either under or over-seating them, a kitchen staff that can literally make or break your tip pool and other servers who can't seem to pull their weight. The stress level can be palpable sometimes. But, the best servers (I was pretty ok on most days) will still show up to your table with an optimistic smile and bounce in their step.

Knowing this, I like to think I am a bit more understanding when it comes to being served. Sure, I can still get frustrated if my drink order takes 20 minutes. I'm human, after all. But, any reasonable person can observe. If my server is standing by the bar bullshitting, we have a problem. If he/she is running like mad trying to juggle 12 tables...yeah, I'll cut him/her some slack usually. And you should too. (That being said, a good attitude goes a long way. If my server is an a-hole, I can be very, very critical. The former-server burden.)

I realize not everyone has been a server or even worked in customer service. To them, I want to say...well, first, lucky you and second, don't be an asshole. Just don't. It doesn't help the situation when you get snotty about things that are clearly out of your server's control. You're just making things worse. Instead, have a little patience. I know it can be tough but try. (Remember the golden rule?) A good server hasn't forgotten about you. A good server will apologize, even for things that aren't their fault. And just so you know, a good server will remember you when/if you come back if you've been shitty. I know I did.

Food for thought. See what I did there?

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