I've been in this parenthood game now for 4 1/2 years. I like to think that I have a few things figured out. Mostly, I realize (daily) that I still have a lot to learn and all of those preconceived notions I had about children, parents, good vs. bad kids and milestones were ill-conceived or just plain wrong.
The most surprising to me is that my feelings toward other people's kids hasn't changed all that much. In my mind, I thought once I gave birth and received my Mommy card, the enigma that is a child's personality would become much more clear. I would just get it. And they would just get me. Some magical aura that is only visible to children would suddenly shroud me and they would be drawn to me - comfortable with me. There's no aura. There's no clarification.
To be clear, I understand my kid perfectly...well, most of the time. And she is a wonder to watch as she navigates a still new-to-her world. I know I'm supposed to love her but luckily, I like her too. Which is kind of a big deal considering she is a lot like me. (There's a lesson there, I'm sure -- another blog) But now I'm going to say something you're not supposed to say. I don't really like other kids.
Ok, put your pitchforks down. I don't detest all children. But, if I'm being honest, and I have no reason to be otherwise, some children are horrible little beings. That I am capable of feeling this kind of hostility towards a tiny person is a little unsettling. Oh well. As my Husband would say, "It is what it is."
If you know me and are familiar with my sassy tendencies, then I'm sure you're now picturing me being just awful to these little heathens. Let me assure you, it's not like that. I can be civil...even patient most of the time. (So maybe parenthood has matured me afterall!) It's easy to keep it together when I know, in the end, I get to go home with Isabel... a smug little smirk on my face. Hey, I'm not saying she's perfect! But there is not a day that goes by that she doesn't make me smile. I'm proud of the little girl she is becoming. I'm proud of how she presents herself to the world. We're doing something right. Am I biased? Probably a bit. Am I wrong? Nope.
Still, I guess you never really know how others regard your offspring. (I have only the rave review of babysitters to go on. lol) It's a touchy subject for sure. I'm not going to tell that woman with the a-hole kid that her kid is an a-hole. Well, I wouldn't without expecting to be punched in the face. However, I get the feeling she knows. And for that, I am sorry. I will say the judgement I held for the Mom's of the children-of-the-damned has lessened now that I have my own. Sometimes, truly, there's nothing you can do. Still, I think it's better for all of us if I keep my distance...out of earshot at least. On the other hand, if any of these Moms wants to meet for a coffee/cocktail or just needs a giant hug (complete with shoulder to cry on), I am available after 6 most days.
The most surprising to me is that my feelings toward other people's kids hasn't changed all that much. In my mind, I thought once I gave birth and received my Mommy card, the enigma that is a child's personality would become much more clear. I would just get it. And they would just get me. Some magical aura that is only visible to children would suddenly shroud me and they would be drawn to me - comfortable with me. There's no aura. There's no clarification.
To be clear, I understand my kid perfectly...well, most of the time. And she is a wonder to watch as she navigates a still new-to-her world. I know I'm supposed to love her but luckily, I like her too. Which is kind of a big deal considering she is a lot like me. (There's a lesson there, I'm sure -- another blog) But now I'm going to say something you're not supposed to say. I don't really like other kids.
Ok, put your pitchforks down. I don't detest all children. But, if I'm being honest, and I have no reason to be otherwise, some children are horrible little beings. That I am capable of feeling this kind of hostility towards a tiny person is a little unsettling. Oh well. As my Husband would say, "It is what it is."
If you know me and are familiar with my sassy tendencies, then I'm sure you're now picturing me being just awful to these little heathens. Let me assure you, it's not like that. I can be civil...even patient most of the time. (So maybe parenthood has matured me afterall!) It's easy to keep it together when I know, in the end, I get to go home with Isabel... a smug little smirk on my face. Hey, I'm not saying she's perfect! But there is not a day that goes by that she doesn't make me smile. I'm proud of the little girl she is becoming. I'm proud of how she presents herself to the world. We're doing something right. Am I biased? Probably a bit. Am I wrong? Nope.
Still, I guess you never really know how others regard your offspring. (I have only the rave review of babysitters to go on. lol) It's a touchy subject for sure. I'm not going to tell that woman with the a-hole kid that her kid is an a-hole. Well, I wouldn't without expecting to be punched in the face. However, I get the feeling she knows. And for that, I am sorry. I will say the judgement I held for the Mom's of the children-of-the-damned has lessened now that I have my own. Sometimes, truly, there's nothing you can do. Still, I think it's better for all of us if I keep my distance...out of earshot at least. On the other hand, if any of these Moms wants to meet for a coffee/cocktail or just needs a giant hug (complete with shoulder to cry on), I am available after 6 most days.
Some recommended reading.
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