Skip to main content

I know you are but what am I?

Oh, the intricacies of a relationship. Those wonderful moments that happen when no one else is around. All of my best friends are now coupled. Surely, you know what I speak of: The picking of a fight.

Even as I sit here writing this, I am completely clueless as to what the hell just happened. Our typical Thursday family dinner was...typical...light, even, The three of us finished our supper and giggled over Isabel's new Magic Trick kit. Good Sully family memories. The yooj. ("usual")

After teeth brushing, morning preparing and kid-tucking-in, it was adult time. As I settled on the couch to check my Insta, I glanced at the man-show on the tv, "What are you watching?", I asked. I was immediately met with a snarky and defensive remark from the husband. I responded. Only to be cut off with another snarky and defensive remark. "Umm...what the hell's your problem?" I don't much shy away. There was an infuriating little giggle as if to say, "Oh, you're making a big deal out of nothing." To which I replied, "Why are you trying to pick a fight?!"

Cue the cat that ate the canary look. "I'm not."

Bullshit.

Why do we do this? We're all guilty. For no reason at all, every once in a while, we just have to push each other's buttons. And who knows your buttons better than your significant other? Yep, unfortunately after more than a decade together, he not only knows my buttons but he also knows the exact sequence in which to push them and make me seethe. And vice versa.

Maybe it's a cathartic thing. Maybe we do it because we know we can. We're safe. Somewhere in our subconscious we think, "I can push and push but there's no real danger of _____ leaving." Yes, even in a healthy relationship; one of equals; one like mine, now and then, one of us has to piss on the other to establish dominance.

Gross.

Or maybe at our cores, we really are just assholes.

Or at least we can be.

The crazy thing is I love this jerk. I love that we challenge each other. I love that I can stand up to him and he to me. I love that one of the reason he loves me is because I'm strong and outspoken. (or maybe it's more in spite of...)

Love. Love. Love.

Don't let my rose coloured glasses fool you. I do love him but that in no way means that I don't want to punch him in the face occasionally.

Ain't love grand.

I'm on to you.


Vanessa Sully






Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Roaring 20's

The next decade is pretty bleak... if you ask Hollywood. Dystopian, disconnected, dangerous. In keeping with America’s obsession to promote fear, we have been taught, through film, that our reality will go majorly awry … relatively soon. When we were kids, my mind didn’t see 2020 like this . We have fun gadgets now, sure, but sadly, my car still doesn’t fly (lies, Jetsons), I can’t make pizza with a “hydrator” in less than a minute (thanks for nothing, Back to the Future 2), and we can’t even implant memories! (although, Total Recall, wasn’t exactly promoting this) To be fair, though, a future envisioned where things are just sort of the same wouldn’t bring in box office numbers. Throw in a robot uprising, a worldwide plague or carnivorous aliens and we line up.  What the hell is wrong with us? Here's 5 movies that make me want to build a bomb shelter:    1. Blade Runner Released in 1982. Set in 2019. Siri and Alexa are relatively new to u...
Post a Comment
Read more

Self-Quarantine - First Entry: Isabel's already bored

For the last year I've been saying  that we are living in the shit-storm montage that you see at the beginning of every post-apocalyptic film. (*cue the zombies*) I have yet to be proven wrong. This last week, though, we hit the gas pedal. You can't turn on the news without being inundated with COVID-19 updates. Everything is cancelled. Everything is scarce. Everyone is home. (Well, everyone that can be) And so begins the era of self-quarantine - an era, I hope, we'll look back on fondly in a few weeks when this is all over. Until then, though, guess what? We're all in this together. The Sullys' have not been exposed (that I know of). We have not been out of the country. (for far too long) But, we will still do our part and I hope you will too. It's going to be a long few weeks, to be sure. But we WILL get through it. Our families live in the USA. On a good day, I'm worried about them given current affairs. I've been watching the news, of c...
Post a Comment
Read more

Self-Quarantine - Third Entry: Uncertainty

I feel a shift in the air. I think you feel it too. That feeling of impermanence is gone. As with many things, when quarantine first began, we were gung ho. Inconvenienced, and a bit annoyed, sure, but still pretty optimistic. The memes were pouring out. People were sharing their new home/work schedules, enrolling in free online classes (myself included) and hunkering down for what we were told would be only a few weeks. Totally doable. We're now finishing up Week 3 in lock down. And, let's be honest, shit's gotten a little too  real. Always the optimist, I still believe we'll get through this. In fact, I know we will. I still believe this time will eventually be a memory. I have to trust that by doing what I'm supposed to, I will be fine and so will those I love. But the truth of it is, by the time this is done, many won't be alright. There will be an aftermath. A new reality. I just don't know when and how that will happen. The  not knowing  is what...
Post a Comment
Read more