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"The Nun" - My review

The Nun (2018)
Directed by Corin Hardy




*****Spoiler Alert*****

Here we go. Another installation in James Wan's Conjuring universe. So far, it is #1 at the box office and that's really no surprise. It's predecessors were major hits and we were all hungry for another bite.

We were first introduced to The Nun in 2016's The Conjuring 2. Like most, I thought she was absolutely terrifying. Unlike most, I suppose, I always find a seemingly random villain more unnerving. That air of this could happen to you hanging in the air like an ominous cloud. But, the masses screamed for more and very quickly The Nun backstory was coming to theaters. Now, to be fair, when I found out they were making this I, too, was on board. I'm always down for a scary movie. I love to see them in the theater. Even when the initial reviews came back and weren't so good, that didn't deter me. I find it a very rare thing that a horror movie gets a fair shake. True lover's of the genre are not usually as critical as the professionals. We want to be scared. A good story is a bonus. This time, however, I feel like I should've listened.

 *****Another Spoiler Alert*****

As opening scenes go, this one was pretty generic. We're in the dark catacombs of a scary Romanian Abbey as two nuns (the good kind) inch there way toward something evil. They don't want to but they MUST! One nun is snatched into a dark doorway by forces unseen as the other runs in panic. Something is coming after her. Slowly. Rather than succumb to unknown terrors, also known as a blurry image of a nun (the bad kind) in the hallway, she ties around a noose around her neck and jumps out the window. An outside shot shows the silhouette of another nun in the window....I felt like this set the tone of the entire movie. The titular Nun is very creepy....meaning she's always creeping around but we never really see her until like an hour in. She moves in a slow, determined trajectory while everyone else runs, you see her out of the corner or your eye....*yawn.* Keep in mind, this build up is completely unnecessary. We've already seen her in another movie. Your reveal is pointless.

Now as settings go, a Romanian Abbey should be perfection. It's dark. It's dank. There are crosses and headstones. There's a giant crucifix in the chapel with a headless Christ. But,  I couldn't help but think everything looked like it was set. Every inch of it was done. Overdone, to be specific. It looked like Halloween Horror nights at Universal Studios. Maybe that would've been okay though if the story had worked.

Guess what? It didn't. Convoluted to the point of nonsensical. There were a few back stories for the other characters as well. Demian Bechir's Father Burke is sent by the Vatican to investigate the good nun's death because he once dealt with a possessed kid. A kid who keeps popping up around the abbey to play with his mind. He's a little scary, to be sure, but added nothing to the story. Taissa Farmiga's Sister Irene is called upon to accompany him. No one seems to know why though. It is revealed she used to have visions. So she's psychic? This plot point only comes into play once towards the end and honestly, it just seemed like a lazy way to tie up some loose end and continue the story. The Nun's backstory could've probably worked if they hadn't muddled it with all this other stuff. And that's a shame.

As an added bonus, Director Corin Hardy also added in some stereotypical horror movie blunders. EVERY time someone saw/heard something scary, they ran TOWARD the danger. Every damn time. I like to think modern moviegoers are a bit more sophisticated than that now. Also, he tried to add a bit of comic relief with a guy named Frenchie, a lonely French-Canadian (although you'd never know by his accent) who is a sort of grounds keeper. He was the lucky one to find the suicidal nun from the opening scene. His attempts at humour to lighten the mood just did. not. work. At all. It's not his fault. The actor, Jonas Bloquet is charming enough (and cute!), it's just that the dialogue is empty and amateur.

By now, I'm guessing you've realized I didn't really care for it. As I stated at the beginning, as a horror movie lover, my expectation is singular; I want to be scared. I wasn't. The Nun wasn't scary. It felt like a B movie you'd find on Cinemax at 12:30 a.m. in 1987. And that makes me sad. James Wan is my new master of horror but The Nun was missing all the Wan-ness. With his direction, he can set a mood and give you a heart attack in 30 seconds flat. He's proven that again and again. Maybe this review would be vastly different if he'd taken the reigns. Per his IMDB page, we have The Crooked Man and The Conjuring 3 coming up soon. He's currently listed as the producer. I think it's time he got back in the driver's seat and took care of his baby.



Vanessa Sully


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