38 is looming on the horizon. I see it. I can feel it and just in case I forget, my birthday obsessed 4-year-old reminds me of it daily. "Mommy, you're almost 38." Followed by, "You're older than Daddy." Thanks kid. I am very aware. I found gray hair #6 yesterday. Yep, I can no longer count them on just one hand. Somewhere her Mimi is cracking up because I used to say the exact same things to her. She loved it.
To be honest, 3-8 doesn't scare me. It doesn't feel like that big of a change. And 40 almost feels like a badge of honor. Now 39....that's a different story. Sigh. It was the same with my 20's. 2-9 came in like a lion and with way too much reflection. "I'm almost 30. I'm almost 30" going through my mind as if on a marquee. Why do we do that to ourselves?
So, on the cusp of a new decade (again), I'm reflecting. This time, however, I'm realizing something unexpected, something wonderful... even comforting. The place I'm in ain't so bad. And more than that, the fabulous people in my life who will also embark on their 38th year aren't in bad places either. In fact, at this moment, most of us are doing better than we have in a long time. Having weathered some major storms of my own and also having witnessed theirs, I find this fact truly amazing.
We've been through terrible break-ups, financial crises, cross-country and international moves, divorce, children and illnesses. There's been internet dating, a few stalkers and even a time when we accidentally went on a date with the same guy. (Tersha?) I can recall many a tear shed and several mutterings of "I'm so done with men." We tried long-distance relationships, blind dates and set-ups. We've endured all the games and broken promises and still made it to the other side. Phew! Just reading that, I feel like an old war vet.
Last year, I saw two of my best friends get married. And I feel truly blessed that I got to be there for both. Last year, another best friend and his boyfriend bought their first house together. This year, our circle of friends will welcome two new babies. My happy and healthy daughter will turn 5. And (**fingers crossed**), my Husband and I will FINALLY get a vacation all our own. As per my New Year's resolution, I am trying to live each day with a thankful heart - to appreciate every moment. And at this moment, now, I am happy to say we are all well. We are all loved. So, if this is what my late thirties is all about, ok. I'll take it.
To be honest, 3-8 doesn't scare me. It doesn't feel like that big of a change. And 40 almost feels like a badge of honor. Now 39....that's a different story. Sigh. It was the same with my 20's. 2-9 came in like a lion and with way too much reflection. "I'm almost 30. I'm almost 30" going through my mind as if on a marquee. Why do we do that to ourselves?
So, on the cusp of a new decade (again), I'm reflecting. This time, however, I'm realizing something unexpected, something wonderful... even comforting. The place I'm in ain't so bad. And more than that, the fabulous people in my life who will also embark on their 38th year aren't in bad places either. In fact, at this moment, most of us are doing better than we have in a long time. Having weathered some major storms of my own and also having witnessed theirs, I find this fact truly amazing.
We've been through terrible break-ups, financial crises, cross-country and international moves, divorce, children and illnesses. There's been internet dating, a few stalkers and even a time when we accidentally went on a date with the same guy. (Tersha?) I can recall many a tear shed and several mutterings of "I'm so done with men." We tried long-distance relationships, blind dates and set-ups. We've endured all the games and broken promises and still made it to the other side. Phew! Just reading that, I feel like an old war vet.
Last year, I saw two of my best friends get married. And I feel truly blessed that I got to be there for both. Last year, another best friend and his boyfriend bought their first house together. This year, our circle of friends will welcome two new babies. My happy and healthy daughter will turn 5. And (**fingers crossed**), my Husband and I will FINALLY get a vacation all our own. As per my New Year's resolution, I am trying to live each day with a thankful heart - to appreciate every moment. And at this moment, now, I am happy to say we are all well. We are all loved. So, if this is what my late thirties is all about, ok. I'll take it.
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