I am an only child...
...and I know all the preconceived ideas that just popped into your head. We're spoiled. We're selfish. We're lonely. Am I right? Maybe I possess(ed) a few of those traits but not for the reasons you'd think. My personality was shaped more by a tumultuous upbringing. I'm not sure a sibling would've changed that. In fact, most times I'm glad that no one else had to go through it. Or maybe it's more like I'm glad there are no witnesses.
Isabel is also an only child.
She doesn't complain about not having siblings unless someone else brings it up first. When it's a curious child asking, we respond warmly, "Nope. It's just the three of us." Usually they seem a little confused at first, then maybe a little jealous? Kanata is not known for only children.
Adults are tougher. "We don't want more children" is often met with many questions. It's exhausting and infuriating. When we lived in the States, most of the people we knew who were parents had one child; one and done. It was very common. And I don't remember anyone having much to say about it.
Then, we moved here. Apparently, there's a lot to say...
I've literally heard the following:
"Oh, of course you want another!" (I do?)
"You wouldn't do that to her!" (Do what exactly?)
"What if you two die?" (Then we'd leave multiple orphans, you idiot.)
The last was from our FORMER family doctor. Nice, huh?
So, here's the thing. I'll set the record straight because people seem to want me to. Matt and I never thought we'd have children at all. Isabel wasn't planned. That in no way means she wasn't wanted. In fact, I believe, and this is the part that makes me think life is more than just random, she came into our lives at a time when we needed her most. It was time to grow up. And a GIANT change in our reality was just the kick in the pants we required. Now before you childless folks get all worked up, "You don't need children to grow up!" I think we did. This is our story.
I wouldn't change a thing. Simply put, Isabel is everything. Plus, and I feel compelled to mention this, child rearing is a terrifying crap shoot. We've been in the game long enough now to see the variables. Isabel is funny, beautiful, healthy and sleeps like a champ. I often hear parents say, " Our second was the complete opposite!" We're not chancing it. When you've hit the jackpot your first time at the table, you walk away. (A little Vegas reference for Mimi) Also, I'm just too old for all that now. 40 was my deadline. But, I wish nothing but the best for those can and will have kids into these years. It's just not for me.
So view us how you will. My Facebook feed is full of all kinds of different families. This is ours and it's perfect. We're the Three Musketeers. The Three Amigos. Sully Cubed. The Sully North Chapter. There is nothing missing. Actually, the opposite. We have an abundance.
Vanessa Sully
...and I know all the preconceived ideas that just popped into your head. We're spoiled. We're selfish. We're lonely. Am I right? Maybe I possess(ed) a few of those traits but not for the reasons you'd think. My personality was shaped more by a tumultuous upbringing. I'm not sure a sibling would've changed that. In fact, most times I'm glad that no one else had to go through it. Or maybe it's more like I'm glad there are no witnesses.
Isabel is also an only child.
She doesn't complain about not having siblings unless someone else brings it up first. When it's a curious child asking, we respond warmly, "Nope. It's just the three of us." Usually they seem a little confused at first, then maybe a little jealous? Kanata is not known for only children.
Adults are tougher. "We don't want more children" is often met with many questions. It's exhausting and infuriating. When we lived in the States, most of the people we knew who were parents had one child; one and done. It was very common. And I don't remember anyone having much to say about it.
Then, we moved here. Apparently, there's a lot to say...
I've literally heard the following:
"Oh, of course you want another!" (I do?)
"You wouldn't do that to her!" (Do what exactly?)
"What if you two die?" (Then we'd leave multiple orphans, you idiot.)
The last was from our FORMER family doctor. Nice, huh?
So, here's the thing. I'll set the record straight because people seem to want me to. Matt and I never thought we'd have children at all. Isabel wasn't planned. That in no way means she wasn't wanted. In fact, I believe, and this is the part that makes me think life is more than just random, she came into our lives at a time when we needed her most. It was time to grow up. And a GIANT change in our reality was just the kick in the pants we required. Now before you childless folks get all worked up, "You don't need children to grow up!" I think we did. This is our story.
I wouldn't change a thing. Simply put, Isabel is everything. Plus, and I feel compelled to mention this, child rearing is a terrifying crap shoot. We've been in the game long enough now to see the variables. Isabel is funny, beautiful, healthy and sleeps like a champ. I often hear parents say, " Our second was the complete opposite!" We're not chancing it. When you've hit the jackpot your first time at the table, you walk away. (A little Vegas reference for Mimi) Also, I'm just too old for all that now. 40 was my deadline. But, I wish nothing but the best for those can and will have kids into these years. It's just not for me.
So view us how you will. My Facebook feed is full of all kinds of different families. This is ours and it's perfect. We're the Three Musketeers. The Three Amigos. Sully Cubed. The Sully North Chapter. There is nothing missing. Actually, the opposite. We have an abundance.
Vanessa Sully
 |
| ...and so is my daughter. |
Well said, dear. We got it right the first time.
ReplyDeleteYeah we did!
DeleteAgain, thanks for sharing this. I had no idea how much judginess ya'll have dealt with. We have similar issues for not having any children, but that I would expect more than if you already have one....and she is such a great kid!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Uncle Steve! She really is a great kid!
Delete